Prioritizing Your List

In her article entitled “Stepping Out of the Should Trap,” Joanna Holsten says [emphasis added]:

  • The first step involves intellectually understanding the problem by labeling both the messages and methods of the “should” trap.
  • Talking with patients in the process of dying, a caretaker identified their number one regret – “I wish I had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”
  • It is important to me that I don’t arbor anger at the “should,” rebel against the “should,” or feed it any more energy than it has already taken from me.”
  • This isn’t about rejecting the mainstream or railing against conformity. It’s about authenticity.

Task:

  1. Take a look at your list of “should’s” and “should not’s,” determining which has the greatest impact on your life.
    • For example, “I should be an engineer” has much greater implications than “I should do my laundry.”
  2. Choose the top 3 from your list to process further and write them down.

Reference:

Stepping Out of the Should Trap, by Joanna Holsten

“‘I should make more money. I should lose weight. I should volunteer more often.’ In saying ‘should’ so often, I found myself feeling trapped by a sense of obligation and expectation. I felt this vague pressure to conform to external standards, to be someone or do something.